Finding out you are pregnant can ignite many strong, and sometimes conflicting, emotions in both you and your partner.

If you are unexpectedly pregnant, you might be feeling a lot of pressure from your partner to choose abortion. But maybe you’re not sure that’s what you want. Pressure from those you love can make the decision even more confusing.

It’s important to remember that no one can make you have an abortion or choose something you are not comfortable with.

Here are helpful steps to take when he wants you to get an abortion.

 

 

I’m pregnant and he wants me to get an abortion, but I’m not sure.

 

What do YOU want? What are YOU feeling?

So you think you know how he feels about the pregnancy, but how do you feel?

Ask yourself, “Do I want an abortion? Is this the best decision for me and my body? Will I regret this decision later?”

It’s easy for emotions to become overwhelming. It’s especially easy to make quick decisions based on your current emotions.

Sometimes writing out your thoughts and emotions can help you clear your mind and identify what you’re really feeling. It’s helpful to decide what you really want before you let others’ opinions and feelings sway yours.

 You can feel confident in what is best for you when you understand how you are feeling.

 

Talk to him and listen to his concerns too.

He wants you to get an abortion, but do you know why? Sit down with him and discuss why he thinks this is the best option. Does he feel like he’s not ready to be a father? Does he feel like his freedom will be taken away? Does he think finances will be a problem?

Maybe he told you, “I support whatever decision you choose,” but you know deep down he really hopes you make the decision he thinks is best. Maybe he is afraid to be a parent, especially if he has not had a father figure in his life. At Reach Reproductive Health, we have a men’s mentorship program that provides coaching for men. Whatever his reasons, your reasons matter too. 

Tell him how you’re really feeling about it. Tell him your concerns, your fears, and why you might not agree that is the best option. If he is a good partner, he will listen carefully and respond with respect and understanding.

How you fight and resolve conflict during this decision may be an indicator of whether your relationship is healthy or not. Chances are an abortion will not solve your relationship problems but only magnify them. 

Getting help from trusted friends and family who know what you value can help you see the big picture.

You may be deciding if parenting on your own feels possible for you. This is a big decision, and it can help to talk with someone who understands what that path can look like.

 

Find your village

Pregnancy and parenting are easier with support. If your partner isn’t on the same page and you want to continue your pregnancy, finding support from others can make a difference.

Your support group can consist of your family, friends, and local organizations. There are countless organizations ready to help you with pregnancy options, finances, housing, support, and more.

When you have the right people surrounding you, nothing is impossible.